Saturday, March 20, 2010

Keeping Love Alive in Marriage

Marriage –Keeping Love Alive

From the book Five Love Languages
A brief review.

How do you keep love alive in marriage?

Five Love Languages:

1. Words of affirmation

Mark Twain once said, “I can live two months on a good compliment.
Use words that build up. Look for the good and avoid finding fault.

The object of love is not getting something you want, but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.

When we receive positive words we are far more likely to reciprocate.

Use kind words.

If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s desires.
If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.

Make a list of seven positive qualities of you spouse.

2. Quality Time

Quality time means giving someone your undivided attention. That doesn’t mean sitting on the couch watching television. It means talking, going for a walk—just the two of you.
Two types of personalities:
Babbling Brook- talks all the time

Dead Sea- just listens, takes it all in, but doesn’t talk much.

3. Receiving Gifts

A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look he/she was thinking of me.”

4. Acts of Service

Helping each other
Criticism is and ineffective way of pleading for love.
5. Physical Love

Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love.
If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her when she cries.

Write down what your primary love language?
Now, list the other 4 in order of importance.

What is your spouse’s love language?

What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply?

What have you most often requested of your spouse?

What would make you feel most loved?

In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse?

Play a game called “Tank Check.” On a scale of one to ten, (zero being empty)
Where is your love tank? Each you do that check and then ask, “What can I do to help you fill that tank?

Look back to your childhood. Did you feel adequately loved by your parents?
Based upon the results of your life, what impact did they have in the way you express love to your spouse?

Make a list of your parents’ failures and successes in conveying affection and positive affirmation to you. What similarities do you see in how you express affection to your spouse?

Love is a choice.

An empty love tank can be compared to running your engine without oil.
Think of ways that each of you can fill the love tank of your spouse.

Try going one day without finding or thinking of faults of your spouse.
Write down or say only the good things about your partner.

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